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Best Honeymoon Ever

(Listen Here)

Before discussing the honeymoon in great detail, it's essential to develop an understanding of our relationship. It's amazing how perspectives change after fifty birthdays. Our main goal this year after Lynette moved in over the summer was to be debt free going into the new year (except for the house.) We had a plan because, well, we're planners. And like any good plan, it all fell apart by fall. Unexpected circumstances never fail to pop up, and our water heater went out just like that. Even with the odds against us, we're still going to accomplish the number one goal by the end of December. Prayer and persistence go a long way, so the debt never stood a chance.

Now that you know our priorities, we can discuss the juicy stuff; the honeymoon. The following few paragraphs aren't for everyone, and it may be a good idea to stop reading now. I tend to write with a lot of detail, which may be more than most of you are ready to hear. Heck, the majority of you probably won't believe most of it anyway.

The day's main goal was to get married around noon, so we'd have the rest of the day too, well, you know, do stuff. Everything went as planned, and the handful of attendees was gone by 1:45. Lynette and I were definitely on track to experience a new level of ecstasy that would last all afternoon and possibly into the evening. We even went as far as to place a checklist on the fridge to ensure we hit every spot and didn't miss a single opportunity. We gave ourselves two days to make the magic happen, knowing we'd soak up every second.

Naturally, we threw our coats on and headed to the County Clerk's Office. We both had fanny packs full of snacks and HBO max on the phone, prepared for a long wait. Getting this stop off our list would give us a head start tomorrow because we'd attempt to knock out two more government offices in one swoop. That's a total of three government offices in two days. Unheard of, right?

We strolled in, still high off of newlywed bliss, took a number, and took a seat. We sat for a minute giggling like two school girls because even a long wait at the County Clerks couldn't spoil our day. Then they called our number. Wait, what? We weren't even sitting long enough to gaze into one another's eyeballs. And the lady at window 13 was charming. I know none of this makes sense, but it happened, I swear.

We were in and out in ten minutes and a day ahead of schedule, so we decided to press our luck and go to the next painful location, the Social Security Office. We knew this would be a long wait, and we didn't mind because we were ready for it anyway. And with it barely being a few minutes after 2:00, we felt optimistic that we could get it done and only have one stop tomorrow at the dreaded DMV.

We moseyed in, took a seat, and BAM! Our number echoed over the speaker, and we sat in the agent's cubicle longer than we hung out in the lobby. We were back on the road by about 2:40. This was unheard of because we knocked out two places we both had dreaded in less than one hour. You won't believe it, but the lady who helped us was super nice. Yeah, I know, but I swear this isn't fiction. I'm telling the truth.

We wondered if this was God's plan and not ours. That's the only explanation we have. Since we were already a day ahead of schedule, we decided to go ahead and take a trip to the DMV. If we could pull this off, we'd have the entire day on Wednesday to sleep in and do whatever we wanted. We knew it would be impossible, but we had to try.

We punched in the information at the kiosk, and before we could even have a seat, Lynette got a text saying our number was next. Okay, this had to be a glitch. No way we would get out of here that quick without at least a bribe. As soon as we sat down, we stood up and headed to the lady at window three. And guess what? She was delightful. Just like that, we were out the door by 3:05.

We swung by the bank, Farm Bureau, and the dry cleaners and returned home before dark. Now you know the story of how we knocked out three government offices in less than an hour and thirty minutes. You can believe it or not, I don't believe it myself, but it happened. The experience gave us the best honeymoon we could have wished for in our lifetime. Things may have gotten better, but that's none of your business.

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